I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
