I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
