As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
