we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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