umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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