Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
