can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
