Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
