I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize