If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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