He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
