What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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