Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
