I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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