i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
