He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
