Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
