too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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