Can Purell be used as lube?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
