Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
