Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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