Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
