Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
