Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
