Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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