Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
