seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
