i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
