we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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