She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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