my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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