i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
