so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
