Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When are your genitals available?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
