What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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