I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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