I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
