Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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