grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
