everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
