god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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