So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
