my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we have pet lesbian snakes
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
