The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
