Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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