I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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