Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
