I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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