I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
