i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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