I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
