he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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