you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
