I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
