i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
