Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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