I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
