she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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