I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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